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Suqa Mardiq
Named by the perverted Emperor Long Dong, Suqa Mardiq, also known as Colonel Eingus, is a member of The Party and a highly sexual former-member of Long Dong's legion who seeks to have sex with every type of being in existence. He's as perverted as he sounds, which causes problems for other members of The Party since he's their only doctor. History Early Life Suqa was born in the town of 'Crater' in the island of Long Dong Land, and when he reached 5 years old he was greeted by the emperor of the island Long Dong, who promptly told him to 'suck my dick' due to a long standing rule of the emperor naming the citizens of the crater this became his name. A precocious child, Suqa loved pissing people off and took every chance he had to mess with anyone that would listen. One day a witch came to the Crater, and after Suqa introduced himself, the witch thought he was insulting her and cursed him. Due to the nature of his alleged 'insult', the curse primarily effected his sexual organs, making any Dragonborn female's sexual organs turn into a mouth when they touched his. But using his penchant of finding holes in things, Suqa quickly found a loophole in this curse. Since the witch never thought that Suqa would leave the Dragonborn only town of Crater, she didn't bother to extend the curse to any other race. With this knowledge Suqa left the crater and returned a changed man, having lost his virginity to an unknown enitity. After the witch was found dead in the imperial city (Suqa remarkably was not involved) news came to Suqa that his curse could only be cured by two different ways, either becoming a cleric and living a life of healing, or have sex with virtually everything except Dragonborn (Suqa, being Suqa...chose both) Suqa's disaster After vowing to have sex with every species, Suqa realised that odds were that Long Dong had many rare creatures under lock and key, and joined his army. After suffering Full Metal Jacket levels of army training, Suqa's mind began to accept an alter ego by the name of Colonel Eingus, a sailor that loves hanging out with seamen, and trapping Sperm whales and making sexual double entendres. After getting high up in Long Dong's army, he learned of his secret Warforged hooker collection...that he had kept deep underneath the crater the whole time. After entering this underground wonderland, Suqa picked a special golden hooker by the name of FX 69 to bed. However this robot was not made for recreational purposes and was instead fitted with a two ton experimental Atomic Bomb that Long Dong had managed to buy from a shade mafia contact in Lost Veygass and had planned to send to his enemies as a 'peace offering'. After fiddling with her for a bit Suqa accidentally triggered the countdown timer, and only survived the resulting fallout by hiding in a large lead lined sex bot known as 'Chunky'. The explosion killed Suqa's family, friends, and since a large party was occuring in the crater, killed 90% of Long Dong's army, and almost killed Long Dong as well had he not been hiding in another large led lined sex bot known as 'Leg room'. After fleeing the accident, Suqa was blamed for the attack and commanded a 1,000,000,000,000,000 bounty if he was caught and brought to Long Dong (It might seem like a lot but when exchanged for gold it's really barely worth anything). He escaped on his alter ego Colonol Eingus's ship 'The Chum Guzzler' and began anew on distant lands, vowing never to return to Long Dong Land. Personality Suqa is abrasive and lewd at all times, with very few things being serious enough for Suqa to change his tone and rampant sex puns. Suqa also has serious commitment issues with the team, regularly leaving to go on his own quests to either gain artifacts of a sexual nature, or expanding his repetoire of rare animals he's slept with. Alignment Suqa has no true alignment, he simply considers himself pansexual. Relationships Kaano Kaano is possibly one of Suqa's only friends in the world, the feeling may not be mutual. Shreklan Wrecklan is a powerful ally to Suqa, as he has stolen many ideas from his legendary magic helmet for his own ambitions. Tomicus A fellow lover of thrusting and penetration, some might say that their relationship goes beyond team mates, but Suqa's shipping stone ships Tatsumaki x Tomicus, and Suqa stands by that. Tatsumaki While Suqa respects Tatsumaki's ability to sneak past many people and also his 'flexibilty', as the last entry states their relationship is purely proffessional. Eirien Eirien finds him annoying, he's indifferent about her...nuff said. Thrawk While their relationship will improve leaps and bounds once the drug lord orc completes his ordered aphrodisiac potion. The two still are good allies, and great friends as well. But as the shipping stone states, Thrawk x Shreklan, because as well as being insane and sex crazed...Suqa's a little bit racist. The Robot Suqa has very little feelings for The Robot, dubbing him the 'sex toy' of the group and on numerous occasions have searched his metallic body for his 'vibrate' function as he calls it. It is one of the few members of the team that has no place on his shipping stone. Suqa Mardiq Suqa loves this man, and has had sex with him on numerous occasions. Family: Fundel Mibels: Father = Deceased Fest Mybutte: Mother = Deceased Slapa Myess: Sister = Deceased Itsa Sexpun: Brother = Unknown, missing for years FucauCarl Yahpissashitee: Distant Cousin=Dead, very very very dead Abilities Enlarged Dragon Breath This is the cornerstone of Suqa's power, a gigantic breath attack that can shoot out fire, ice, poison, pure unadulterated shit, you name it. Most likely when you battle with Suqa, the very first thing and the last thing you ever hear in you life, is the words 'Enlarged Dragon Breath'...with added enunciation on the enlarged. Prized Possessions Suqa keeps secret a small object in his armor known only as the 'shipping stone', that may only be read in the event of his unitimely death. The shipping stone is an ancient piece of stone that Suqa defaced with his ideas for the 'relationships' of the party. This stone also contains the identity of Suqa's OTP, and this knowledge has been seeked by treasure hunters and the party's enemies for years. While not currently in his possession Suqa's greatest treasure he has ever encountered is the legendary JO crystal, a crystal enfused with the powers of the sex god Lord XY. The exact powers of the JO crystal is unknown, but if those who are not worthy of the crystals powers die immediatly by powerful orgasm (This fact alone has made the crytsal a well sought out object for suicide seekers). While it might of been part of some elaborate drunken dream, Suqa remembers winning the JO crytsal in a poker game with the evil Akhinator in the legendary Lost Veygass casino, the Luxor. But after meeting up with the shade Nicholai Carno the crystal was lost in the depths of Lost Veygass. But like the everlasting testoterone of Lord XY, the crystal can never truly be destroyed, and even now it is trying to make it's way back to Suqa...the one person worthy of it's power. Gallery Category:Party Members Category:Characters Category:Drakenkiin